LOCATION: Rock Steady Eddie’s, 2A Coldharbour Lane, Camberwell, SE5 9PR [map]
PRICE: About £1.60 I think. Well cheap, anyway.
BREAD: White roll.
FILLING: A fried egg, bacon, marg and brown sauce (the latter added by me).
PROS: Never is the pull of the greasy spoon more keenly felt than when one suffers from the excesses of the night before. That’s pretty much every day then, H, I hear you say? Well, yes okay then you cheeky sod, I am fond of the odd tipple. I am also fond of the caff in the way that I am fond of a proper old school boozer. From the latter I want names carved into glasses, plenty of dodgy taxidermy and every kind of snack made by the people who make Scampi Fries (with the exception of cheesy melting moments which are RANK). From the former I want formica topped tables, booth style seating and glass dispensers which leave your hungover brain pondering whether you’re pouring sugar or salt in your cup of charlie.
We order two bacon and egg rolls with a certain amount of trepidation. The first thing I notice is that the bun looks surprisingly good and bloody hell, IS IT?! Really fresh, perfect crust on top, a very decent chew which is just SO perfect for a breakfast bap; it will contain any amount of eggy oozage and brown sauceage. The amount of bacon is generous; 3 rashers for such a basic bap? I’m impressed. There’s also a bit of crispness to the fat which, in my experience, puts this towards the higher end of the greasy spoon quality scale where flabby bacon is the norm. The egg, although cooked in one of those funny ring things and flipped for neatness and ease of consumption, miraculously retains some ooze. This could be luck but I’m not complaining.
CONS: There is marg. Such a shame. Butter, people! BUTTER! Even cheapo shitty butter is better than marg. Even a poke in the eye is better than marg. Also there is the egg issue; I think I got lucky with the ooze to be honest, as the example across the table didn’t turn out so well. Didn’t stop me saying ‘HA HA HA, UNLUCKY!’ though, before gleefully smearing my roll around in the golden eggy drips on my plate. The egg could use work, let’s face it. Also, the whole place does appear to be covered in a thick layer of erm, character. I mean, I know it’s a greasy spoon but I was a little reticent about squeezing the brown sauce from the bottle, for fear of what might come with it. It amused us greatly, then, that a sign on the wall addressed a problem with the unhygienic practices of the clientele; I’ve included a picture for your amusement below. The fact that this escalated to such problematic levels that they felt the need to write a sign is baffling/hilarious/gobsmacking/awesome. I know not where to start with the grammar/punctuation/slashes through the letter O like zeros. Rock Steady Eddie’s, I very much enjoyed your, as you put it, “cafe”.