Egg Mayo & Bacon on Wholemeal Baguette from Absolutely Starving, Tooley Street

11 May

snipped sarnie 2

This is a guest post from a guy called Jerry. I don’t know him or anything. We’ve never met. He’s done a review on here before though and then he sent me this and it made me laugh so I’m posting it.

LOCATION: Absolutely Starving, 51 Tooley Street, London, SE1 2QN [map]

PRICE: £3.75 (I think – certainly wasn’t over four quid).

BREAD: Wholemeal baguette, lightly buttered.

FILLING: Egg mayonnaise, crispy bacon (proper slices, not that diced shit), rocket and cucumber.

PROS: Absolutely Starving (or ‘A-starv’, as twats probably say) is a good 15 minutes on the 343 bus from my place of employment, but I try to make the trip at least once a week. I discovered it by chance one day when I was releasing a live otter back into the Thames and needed somewhere to shelter from the rain. That story’s not true, but it doesn’t matter because their food is so completely delicious.

It’s an enormous place, built into the warehouses, populated by a battalion of not unattractive young continentals serving hot and cold meals, pre-filled and made to order sandwiches  along with all the artisanal, gluten-free biscuits/cakes/sauces etc. that you could shake a buffalo mozzarella cheese stick at. Despite clearly appealing to an upmarket crowd, they don’t take the piss with prices – they do a pre-filled sausage, red onion and mustard baguette which costs only £2.75 and is the absolute testes.

Last week I went back for my favourite – both their wholemeal and white breads are excellent – crisp, quite sweet to the taste and with plenty of give on the first penetrative bite. Straight in with a very generous base of egg mayonnaise; not the bland orangey mush that you often find in deli trays, but rich, creamy, peppery and yet still replete with the eggy texture and taste. God, I’ve got a saliva on just writing this.

In with the bacon; cold, but still soft, retaining its meaty tang. Lastly, my own particular salad favourites – a rocket base with a cucumber overlay. Two or three slices of cucumber should be enough as the watery taste CAN dominate at the expense of the bacon and if you get it wrong the only sensible thing to do is throw it in the fucking river.

CONS: Only the fact that the place is full of braying, cone-headed besuited consulting types from PWC up the road, who in ideal world would be only allowed in two at a time.

SCORE: 9.5/10

7 Responses to “Egg Mayo & Bacon on Wholemeal Baguette from Absolutely Starving, Tooley Street”

  1. Lizzie May 13, 2015 at 4:35 pm #

    I’ve met Jerry!

    (That’s all)

    • londonreviewofsandwiches May 13, 2015 at 4:37 pm #

      Fuck! Have I met Jerry? Jerry, have we met?

      • Jerry May 14, 2015 at 2:09 pm #

        No – but I have met Lizzie. I think we were married once, or something.

  2. Cathy June 23, 2015 at 3:25 pm #

    Is it Jerry Fishbiscuits?

    Any idea on a good commercial piccalili to buy as
    I am not going to make my own…

    • Jerry June 25, 2015 at 12:26 pm #

      Hi Cathy. My name isn’t Jerry Fishbiscuits. It’s something else.

      I’m afraid I’m not best placed to advise on the purchase of piccalilis, either for domestic or commercial use.

      Sorry I can’t be more help.

  3. Alan "Millwall" Fishbiscuits June 25, 2015 at 1:01 pm #

    Cathy – I’m pretty sure this is indeed Jerry Fishbiscuits (he’s always been something of a shrinking violet). He also has a commercial piccalilli venture, based in Luxembourg for tax purposes, but guards his secret recipe jealously.

    A popular misconception is that the key to a good piccalilli is the mustard seeds. This simply isn’t true. Buy yourself some proper muscovado sugar and you’re 75% of the way there.

    Wish you all the very best.

    • Cathy June 26, 2015 at 12:33 pm #

      I realised I left this comment on the wrong post, should have been on a different post on this blog, so apologies to Helen.

      I researched commercial piccalilli for about a minute and came up with the Co-op’s own version.

      There really is someone called Jerry Fishbiscuits, and he even has a blog.

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